after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
