A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
