the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
