Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
