yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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