there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
