I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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