It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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