I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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