Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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