I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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