i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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