in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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