So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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