After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
