Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
how does that bad decision feel?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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