What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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