I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
