and you said cock pushups were impossible
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.