who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.