I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?