love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
