it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
