I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
