I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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