OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize