office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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