Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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