And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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