if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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