So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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