I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
