she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
