you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
