you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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