guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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