wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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