happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize