dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
