hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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