vagina is talking i cant
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
