So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
