i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
