omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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