Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
