Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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