she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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