It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
