I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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