If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
