found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
