can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
