Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
