I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
