oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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