when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the day after is always just damage control
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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