At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
