so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
