its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
