Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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