She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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