i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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